From Savage to Shaman is a spiritually-inspired and spiritually-guided book-project being created as a healing tool for those who suffer from depression, PTSD, suicidal thoughts, and other serious psychological traumas. It is primarily directed toward military veterans, however, everyone will find themselves somewhere in this compelling book. Estimates vary considerably, however about 25 American military veterans commit suicide every day, and in 2017, more active-duty personnel died from suicide than from combat. 

Johnny shares his descent “into the darkness” from his non-nurturing, abusive childhood, his struggles with low self-esteem, his addiction to alcohol, and his military flying experiences in Vietnam. 

At age 40 Johnny hit the wall, opened to the gift of sobriety, and began his journey "into the shadow". He shares in-depth, the healing of his internal turmoil and struggles. During a shadow workshop sweat-lodge in 1995, Johnny met his "Savage" and several victims from his Vietnam bombing missions. He used this experience to help him heal his wounds of war.

Johnny is committed to living a life of selfless service and shares his personal story with passion and love. He hopes that others will be motivated and realize that they also may transcend the darkness of depression and despair, and emerge "into the light" of freedom and joy. 

____________________________________________________________

July, 2023. Following is the Forward, Preface, and Introduction to From Savage to Shaman.

Foreword
This book is a gift. A gift for all those who, for whatever reason, have been in darkness. Whether from childhood emotional trauma, addiction, low self-esteem, guilt, regret, or the many other possible destructive influences in life, those struggling will embrace this book as a gift of understanding, compassion, and empowerment to move beyond the darkness. But actually, John Doerr (later Johnny MedicineBear) has given us all a remarkable gift of his authenticity and genuine hope to rise above the struggles, and even the ashes, of our lives. His own story of redemption is all the more remarkable because of his most unusual background. I have had the privilege of knowing, working, and flying with many military pilots. Fighter pilots, however, are a breed apart. Descendants of the first cadre of WWI fighter pilots whose life expectancy in combat was forty-five days, these aviators lived life with gusto, humor, and a “spit in your eye” bravado. Still today, they are exceptional specimens overflowing with situational awareness, independent spirit, self-assuredness, competitive nature, and overall ability. John Doerr was no exception. He was a perfect savage and warrior combination…capable and jovial despite the harshness around him, and consistently successful at completing his mission. He exhibited all the fighter pilot traits when we served together, yet fortunately for all of us, he also had hidden and not-yet-discovered character traits not often seen in this breed…traits such as introspection, vulnerability, and a willingness to take the road less traveled. His discovery of his deeper self is truly, “situational awareness” in afterburner. Once a savage embracing destruction, he is now the spiritual-warrior with a mission of service and empowering others to rise above the misery of addiction, guilt, and defeat. I’ve known Johnny for nearly fifty years, since our death-defying flight above the Arctic Circle and the frozen fiords of Norway. He exploded into my life with all the color and grandeur of a Hollywood actor and gave me the gift of knowing what it’s like to live on the edge. He admits now that he was in darkness, but he was a brilliant light for me. In his Shadow period, I was given the opportunity to help him regain his former grandeur after a long battle with addiction and guilt. I now see this was not a wasted effort, as he has, by telling his story, found his light and is using it to benefit others.. Yes, From Savage to Shaman is a story of redemption, the stuff of ancient myths, where from the depths of darkness, a battered human fights his way, not only to regain his self-esteem, but to also guide others to their own light.
Roger Landry, Col USAFMC (retired) Cape Cod, Massachusetts ____________________________________________________________

Preface Several years ago, I became aware that about twenty-five US military veterans commit suicide every day. I thought about the inner work I've done to not be consumed by the demons that attack when the mind falls into the “horrors-of-war” pit. Several friends suggested that I write a book about my life experiences focusing on the healing path I've traveled to embrace my darkness and walk in freedom. Some thought that a book about how I obtained that freedom might be helpful to those still suffering from serious depression and/or suicidal thoughts. I entertained the possibility of someday writing such a book but had no idea where to get guidance or how to begin. I was stuck. Then a spiritual Teacher came into my life. And through her, divine inspiration and guidance was received. I could never have written this book on my own. This manuscript is and is not my work. In the summer of 2019, the book title “From Savage to Shaman,” and the organization, “Into the Darkness,” “Into the Shadow,” and “Into the Light,” came to us from the spiritual realms. Now with divine guidance and inspiration available, I committed to writing this book not so much to bring forth the story of Johnny MedicineBear, but to present the healing tools that acquired over time. My hope is that these tools be used by those in need to assist and guide them out of their darkness, through their shadow, and into their light. I've poured my heart and soul into this project and have been lovingly supported by many friends and spirit along the way. From Savage to Shaman is my atonement for my participation in the Vietnam war. And if just one person finds the tools they need to heal from suicidal thoughts and actions, then my four-year book project will be double worth it. This project has been pivotal to my healing. I hope you find yourself in this book and employ the suggestions, ideas, and tools found throughout to your life as well. There is nothing more important in your life than you. Do your work and join me on the peaceful path of love, compassion, and service to all beings. From My Heart, Johnny MedicineBear



___________________________________________________
Introduction Neither healing inner trauma nor reading this book is for the faint-of-heart. But if you have a sincere interest in healing yourself, than this book will be of great value for you. Savage: n. A person who embraces brutal behaviors and kills, injures, and destroys without conscience. Shaman: n. A compassionate person of loving heart and pure intent, dedicated to selfless service for all beings. Few return from war and find a way to heal the inner trauma created by the savage acts required of combatants. Soldiers are trained as savages to respond without question or conscience to orders and carry out violent acts. They are then expected to return home after completing their tour to “normal” life. How can one embrace their loving heart when it is encased in suits of armor, beats to the rhythm of war drums, and is surrounded by denial systems that minimize aggression, violence, and war? I am Johnny MedicineBear and this book is my story from a childhood of direct and indirect abuse, through a Vietnam combat tour flying the F-4 phantom jet fighter, to my present day space of freedom and joy. My story is everyone's story on a slightly different angle. We all suffer as children, and to feel good run towards addictions and the military, (where else can one fly a fighter jet or drive a big tank). But somewhere along my path, I stopped running and turned to face life's challenges. YOU CAN TOO. That's what this book is all about. To heal, one must commit to finding and using tools that will elevate their awareness and consciousness above the levels of aggression, violence, and war. “Into the Darkness,” shares my life from early childhood through school, and most of my twenty year military career. It includes my combat missions in Vietnam. At age 40, being close to death on several levels, sobriety occurred and I began walking towards life. If you are honest, you will find yourself in this section. “Into the Shadow” is my life from initial sobriety at age 40 (March, 1985) till the summer of 2019. I share my experiences embracing many spiritual paths of recovery and healing. I acquired tools for my “Life-tool-box” and began employing these tools to my life. As I matured and assumed ownership and responsibility for myself, life began unfolding at a more meaningful & loving level. “Into the Light” begins when Teacher arrived in June of 2019 to the summer of 2023 at the completion of this book. This section calls forth the many paths, tools, and ideas that through teacher's guidance I've embraced to attain a space of relative freedom and joy. You can move into, or at least towards that space too. Not everyone can transition into bliss. But I am confident that everyone can improve their current state of body and mind with commitment and dedication to doing their inner work. Nothing makes me smile more than when someone shares that they have moved, even just a little, from their darkness towards their light. You are number one in your life. Now commit to doing your work. And please remember that Johnny MedicineBear walks with you every step along your life journey. You are never alone. From My Heart, Johnny MedicineBear